Men’s zone: boosting your sex appeal

What makes a man sexy? If you think sex appeal is all about good looks, think again. For starters, beauty is most definitely in the eye of the beholder. A guy can be handsome, but without other qualities – such as humour and confidence – good looks won’t go too far.

But let’s get the superficial stuff out of the way first…What do you wear on that crucial first date? Says Heidi Muller on askmen.com: “As for clothes, a stylish dresser is always attractive but it is important to recognize that style means balance. If you’re wearing a somewhat fitted or trendy shirt, tone down the shirt with a pair of more casual, low-key pants like jeans or simple gray pants. If you’re all decked out in stylish pants and a trendy shirt, balance out your outfit with a pair of nice sneakers rather than leather shoes or boots. I don’t mean run-down sneakers that you play sports in; I’m referring to simple looking sneakers or any casual everyday pair of shoes.”

So you’ve got the right clothes and your fingernails are clean and you’ve not overdone it with men’s cologne…what next?

Listen… Yes, one of the sexiest things a man can be is a good listener. When you meet your date for the first time, don’t spend the entire date talking about yourself. Ask questions, lean forward and wait for the answers. If you do nothing but talk about yourself, it won’t matter if you look like Brad Pitt, your potential Ms Right is going to get bored pretty quickly if you don’t show genuine interest in her.

Eye contact is also very important – it shows you’re interested. If you avoid eye contact – and if you’re the shy type, you probably do – it could work against you. She may interpret shyness for arrogance or lack of interest.

One of the keys to sex appeal is confidence. Knowing who you are and being comfortable in your own skin. There’s nothing sexier. You know you’re not George Clooney but you also know what you’ve got going for yourself.

The bottom line is to realize that looks has little to do with sex appeal. In the world of meeting people on dating websites , people are getting to know each other in singles chat rooms on the basis of their personalities first and foremost. Just look at some of the men in Hollywood that are considered sexy and you’ll realize that sex appeal and looks don’t go hand-in-hand. Take Owen Wilson for example. His famously crooked nose, which he can well afford to have re-sculptured, didn’t bother a beauty like Jennifer Aniston. She was more likely attracted to his generous sense of humour – one of the sexiest qualities a man can have. And imperfections can be sexy too!

And finally, there’s a quality that women love in men that goes against everything you may believe about masculinity. And that quality is vulnerability. If you let your sensitive side show, it will bring out the nurturing instinct in her. Combine that with good listening skills, confidence and a well developed sense of humour, and Jennifer Aniston will be eating out of your hand.